The journey of healing is not linear. There isn’t a straight line, fast track that will take you directly to a healed mindset or the dream life you envision. You have to go with the winding, uneven, sometimes uphill long road. Some days you will conquer the world. Some days you will curl up with your dogs and cry. Either way, wherever you are in your journey right now is exactly where you are supposed to be.
It’s so hard to look at someone and tell them, “Hey. I know you feel like shit today and feel like you aren’t going anywhere or making progress, but you are seriously, exactly where you should be. Dig deep, stay the course.”
But it’s so true. We glamorize healing nowadays. We act as if it’s this magical experience filled with tears of joy and essential oils and tinctures. Don’t get me wrong – I love a good tincture and I don’t think I go a day without an essential oil, but those things have nothing to do with the work that it takes to find true healing.
It’s messy. It will get dark and you might break.
You might just shatter, and you know what?
You will gather all the pieces of yourself and lay them out individually to see them from a different perspective. You will become curious and analytical. The pieces won’t stay scattered for long because you will rebuild yourself anew. You will become a mosaic of histories and understandings held together by love and compassion for yourself.
If you are on your very own journey, here are 3 reminders for you as you are going through the hard times.
1. You do not have to earn self-love.
Again, for the ones in the back – you do not have to earn self-love.
There is nothing you have to do in order to feel okay being kind to yourself. No tally or give and take, you need to love you. When you love you, you can love the rest of the world.
As a society, we have a pretty messed up understanding of rest and self-care. We live in a time of gotta have it now, gotta do it now, and self-care can be looked at as selfish. This hustle mindset really has us all messed up. How can we perform our best running on fumes? Rest, repair, and recover – these are the keys to healing and they begin with self-care. If you barely have time to breathe, how can you really get to a point of self-love and acceptance?
Exhaustion is not a badge of honor. Exhaustion puts limits on the you you are meant to be.
2. Healing yourself isn’t all about you.
If you’ve ever dealt with something hard in your life and have had trauma in any capacity, it can affect you in more ways than one. That unhealed trauma isn’t only affecting you. It’s affecting everyone around you – your family, your kids, your business, your physical body. It even affects the way you see yourself and view those around you.
Is the workout never hard enough? Is the calorie restriction never high enough? Are you talking negatively about yourself in front of those that you love? Are you lashing out at your family or parenting in a way that truly doesn’t align with your ideals?
You are not the only one affected. Leaving wounds open, allowing yourself to live crippled by trauma, doesn’t just leave you bleeding. Heal yourself and slowly you will begin to see how every area of your life will change.
3. Doing the inner work is where you will find the self-confidence that you crave.
Yep, that’s right. You can’t just put it out to the universe that you believe that things are possible. You have to get down deep in the trenches, girl! It’s time to work! Tackle the layers. Dive into where it hurts. Why do you struggle to believe in yourself? What are your limiting beliefs? What are they trying to teach you?
What does self-confidence mean to you?
If you Google the definition you will probably find something like this:
A feeling of self-belief arising from one’s appreciation of their own abilities or qualities.*
Confidence is an inside job. Gaining confidence in yourself is completely necessary to get anywhere you want to go. It’s a must have. Hiring a coach or a mentor can be the kick in the butt you need or the helping hand to guide you along. We are mirrors, cheerleaders, bffs, and can give you the little (or big) push you need in order to start the healing process.
Healing can be scary,
quiet as a mouse,
or as noisy and wild as a frat party.
Whatever shape healing takes for you, know that it is 100% worth it.
Ready to stop tip toeing around your life and get real and raw with yourself? It’s time to heal that sh!t that’s been taking up space in your mind. You know what you need to do in order to get to where you want to be, but sometimes having a hand to guide you is exactly what you might need. Let’s find out. Click here to book a FREE breakthrough call and see if working either 1-1 or in a group capacity might be the very step you need to get to where you want to be. Give me 30 minutes and let’s visualize what your next steps look like for you.