A girlfriend confided in me recently. As we sat sipping coffee at our favorite spot, she completely took me off guard. Her normally confident and sure-footed demeanor crumpled right before my eyes. “I feel like I am honestly going to live my life alone. I mean I have my family and friends, but I really don’t think I’ll ever find someone that I can start my own family with. I thought all of these experiences I’m experiencing right now would be with someone, shared with someone.” 

Hell of a statement to start off with, right? She usually gets straight to the point when we talk, but rarely has she ever been this open, this raw. She’s my go-to for a pep talk or a good kick in the butt. I never knew she was feeling so lonely.

I don’t envy her- she is faced with being single in the age of swipe left. I feel for her. The world is such a different place from when I met my partner. We live in a time of ultimate choice right now. When things get hard or strained, it’s far easier to walk away. Everything and everyone is right at our finger tips. We can simply delete someone from our lives; unfollow, unlike, and swipe to the next. We can simply choose another job if the one we have gets too hard.

It’s so easy now to forget that nothing is ever perfect. It’s easy to forget we need to consistently put work and effort into the things we want and the relationships we keep. Life will inevitably get hard. It will throw all sorts of twists and turns and obstacles your way. Instead of facing these challenges head on, we’ve somehow been drawn into this scheme of choice. 

“Oh, wow. This is hard. I can find something else that feels better.” 

“This job just doesn’t resonate with me.” 

“He was just too, I can’t put my finger on it, but he was too much of it. “

It’s about time we stop and think to ourselves, am I avoiding being uncomfortable? Sister, I have news for you. Life, work, relationships – they are HARD WORK. It’s not all sunshine and daisies. You might be working extra hours over the weekend – but how good does it feel when that project you dreamed about becomes reality? He might not have kept up with asking you on date nights, but have you told him how important is it to you to feel wanted? 

The world has become a small place. There are so many jobs and so many people and so many ways to connect. We don’t sit for very long in one place. Our attention spans are almost at zero. We think when we are faced with the task of putting a lot of work into something, it’s a sign that it wasn’t meant to be. 

I call B.S. I truly don’t think it’s too late for us. I think we can find our way back to a slow down. We can start valuing what we have and what we were given. It really just starts with us- you, me, and everyone reading this. Think of the ripple effect we could have, if in the hard times we stayed instead of walking away. Think of the connections that could form, the dreams that could be realized, if we stopped swiping and deleting. 

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