I had coffee with a friend (and semi employee) the other day. She sat me down and told me point blank, I needed to let go of the reins I held so tightly because it was affecting everything and everyone in my life. Ouch. It was a blow right to the heart, but honestly, I kind of felt it coming. There was a tension in my life that I just couldn’t pinpoint. I didn’t know where it was coming from or why, but I could feel it building with every decision I made, errand I ran, and conversation I had.
I want The Nourished Gypsy to function so beautifully and help as many people as I can. This passion I have for the success of my business is deeply rooted in my drive to see others reach the freedom I’ve found in letting go who I was told to be. It’s crazy because I really did find freedom and somehow that freedom became stifling when I forgot to grow with my new found liberation.
I held on to this is idea that I needed to cling to control. When I was living a life I felt confined in, I had this need to control everything around me because I felt my life itself was out of my control. So, I managed what I could – emails, errands, tasks. Seemingly small things, but as I found my freedom and became who I wanted to be, I never really let go of that comfort of control. I forgot lessons I had learned, truths that had shown themselves to me. I let my need for control run wild, even though I was teaching others to release it. I was caught up in trying to help everyone else, that I stopped helping myself and stopped really listening to the inner me.
I have hired people to help, yes, but honestly, I never actually let them help me. I convinced myself I was a bother to them, that they were busy, that they couldn’t possibly have the time to do this or that, even though it was their job to do such things. I kept adding more and more to my own to do list, on top of my ever-growing list of teenage daughter things and loving wife duties. I was doing the exact opposite of what I tell my clients. My Muay Thai coach even told me she had been sensing I was off, she told me my attitude towards letting others take responsibilities was affecting how I performed during training – lack of focus, frustration, and self-doubt. My girlfriend at brunch literally echoed what my coach told me. The strands of my life were weaving themselves into a message just for me, a message that told me I needed to trust in myself and my circle. I needed to let people do their jobs, so I could do mine.
Think about your daily life. What are you trying to control? Is this something you can let go of?