For years, I have prided myself in never quitting. Always plugging along, doing the things despite whether or not they robbed my joy. I did the things because that is what I thought would get me to a point of fulfilling true happiness.
I went to school for something that I thought was the only way of success. Nurses are needed, a job guaranteed. I wanted to quit the first day of nursing school. But I wasn’t a quitter. I stuck through it and became a nurse.
I hated every second of every day on the job.
Fast forward a few years and a couple kids, I felt like I had neglected my gym membership and needed to get back into shape. Honestly, I never loved the workout scene. Yeah, okay Robin, sure, I’ve seen your IG posts. Seriously – rewind about 5 years and I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than hit the gym. It took one awful comment from one person very close to me to make me feel the size of a poppy seed to get me back into the gym.
The comments of others usually aren’t the root cause of my decisions, but truly I didn’t realize what I was missing and would have never figured it out without the harsh words. Everything happens for a reason, right? That comment was the universe urging me to change my path. I was missing out on a whole community of like-minded people! I met some incredible women within this community who ultimately led me to a workout that now I can’t get enough of – Muay Thai, a sport that in my wildest dreams could have never imagined myself enjoying, let alone craving. It’s something that pushes me- not just the sport, but the people, the coaches, the family. It’s something I just can’t explain and when I’m there, nothing else matters. The crippling anxiety that I deal with daily, the clients, the expectations of motherhood, as a wife. None of it matters.
It’s the first time in a very long time that I feel like I belong.
When I started doing something that actually made me feel good,
I started to notice areas in my life that were not.
I became a quitter.
I realized what my passion was.
It wasn’t patient care.
I love people and I love helping others,
but I knew this path I was on didn’t feel right.
I was walking the walk and talking the talk, doing the things,
but I knew I was meant to do something else with my passion for helping others.
I could feel the universe calling again, shifting my path ever so slightly, more specifically.
My own struggles, my own journey, every misstep, every fall and rise, was meant for me to share. I knew I wanted to help women shake free of anxiety, let go of restrictions, and discover their own version of health, nourished completely body and soul. I wanted to help women who are stuck in body shame cycles, who struggle with body image, who feel trapped and alone. I wanted them to know they aren’t alone. I’m here and I’m with them. I know the feeling of just wanting to love who you are, but really having no idea how. My path was changing and the pull was stronger than ever.
Quitting was just on the horizon for me, I knew what I had to do.
So, I let go of my nursing career.
I let go of safety and security, and fell deep into #whatthefuckdidijustdo.
Letting go of what isn’t meant for you isn’t pretty.
This wasn’t easy.
I’ve told my coaches on countless occasions that
“I can’t do this.”
“I can’t afford you.”
“How the fuck am I supposed to make this work?”
“Nothing is working.”
But I always kept going, moving forward, progressing no matter how small the step was.
I never felt worse about myself after I quit my job and started my own business.
Even though I knew deep down I was in the right place, I felt terrible.
I spent months and months attempting to get the clients – helping people for free sometimes or
devaluing myself earning next to nothing.
All I felt was broken.
I felt depleted.
I wanted to continue to help others, but I also had a family to contribute to, kids to support, a life that runs on money. How could I have just given up a job that brought a consistent income?
Because I knew deep down this was the right path all along.
This was where I was meant to be. No matter how difficult.
I stuck it out.
I didn’t quit.
I kept buying into my own stories….
That the only way to success is to hustle.
That this work is hard.
That the only way to success is kick my ass.
Wake up early.
Stay up late.
Eventually, it will all be worth it.
I didn’t quit, but I dug myself into the ground.
I uphold the values I wanted to share with women around me,
I didn’t value myself, my time, or my life.
Surround yourself people who inspire you.
That’s what everyone says, right? It’s 100% the truth.
I started to pay attention to who I was letting in my circle. I sought guidance, friendships, with people who were like-minded. I got myself a business coach who has my back and holds a vision for me higher than I’ve even been able to see for myself. She makes me push beyond what I see as my limits. And with women like my coach and my Muay Thai community behind me, my epiphany happened.
My bullshit excuses began to fade.
I started trusting myself.
I started believing in myself,
believing in what truly is possible.
I began to see the vision before it came to light.
I found value in who I was and the path I was on.
So, this year I decided to quit.
I quit the expectations.
I quit trying to define my net worth as my self worth.
I quit buying into stories that life has to be hard.
2019 has been the year of discovering it’s okay to quit.
It’s okay to let go.
It’s okay to ditch the expectations.
2019 is the year I learned I am good enough, just as I am.
I don’t have to push myself into a mold.
Life might not be easy. I might hit some walls, trip and fall, I might even fail,
but this life is mine in every way – I do what brings me happiness and
I will put that back into the world around me.
And you know what?
You deserve to discover what you have.
You, too, are worthy.
You are valuable.
You are enough.
Not because of what you look like or because of the number on the scale,
or the number in your bank account,
but because you are simply you.
Let this be the year you quit-
quit trying to define your self worth based on anything that is outside of you,
quit holding yourself back from the life that you desire,
quit putting yourself last,
quit believing that you aren’t enough.
Because, girl, you are worth everything.
As we close the chapter of 2019 and head into a brand new decade,
I say we quit.
We let go of what doesn’t serve us and choose the hard road together.
2020 is the year we RISE.
2020 is the year we reach new heights we didn’t know existed.
2020 is the year we stop doing the things just to do the things, and we start really living.
This is it, baby! We get this one life, let’s make it a great one.